The woes of a just married man

I was married two days ago and I got home a wife,
Oh boy! I can tell you, overnight, it changed my entire life.
The new in-law family keep telling me what to do,
They preach me about pleasing my wife and the magic words like ‘sorry and thank you’.
I am advised to keep my wallet and heart open always,
I am told to agree with my wife, no matter what she says.
My mother moved to a different place as she was advised by neighbors and friends,
They told her 498A and domestic violence are the new ways of earning money as the twitter hashtag trends,
Its not that I did not know my wife from before,
We were in a live-in for the last one year and we were sharing every chore.

But today, things have taken a 180 degree turn,
My wife tells me to make tea and shouts at me if the chapatis burn.
She can slap me if I say something wrong,
But I cannot say anything since she is a woman strong.
Her abuse and her harsh words can rip me apart,
Her cruelty breaks my heart.
Yet, I cannot utter a word even in self defence or out of anger or anguish,
Otherwise, I will be caught by the cops like a  fresh-water fish.
Friends, the live-in might look good and you may want the person for life.
But remember, she will turn into a fire-spitting dragon the moment you take her for a wife.
Some women have even made this their profession,
Since this is a fool-proof way of earning money despite the job shortage and recession.
Just like armies that used to loot and plunder in the olden days,
These women serenade and plunder men and their families in all sorts of ways.
Friends, don’t think it’s a man’s world because the laws will make you want to be a woman for sure,
Think twice about getting married before you walk out of that door.
The law will support her because she is the helpless damsel in distress,
And you will wonder why did you land yourself in such a sordid mess!
                                                                                                               - Shailaza Singh


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